26 Acts of Kindness Part II

I never thought completing my first Act of Kindness in remembrance of the 26 lives lost at Sandy Brook Elementary would be such an emotional process.  From my last post, I was torn about how to approach a few things...who/what/when how.  I carried around my Act #1 envelope all day waiting for the moment where it all felt right.  I was in Walmart getting my Subway sandwich and gum that day and I saw her.  I was convinced that I was looking for a certain type of person but to my surprise, I went against all that I wanted for this act and chose an elderly woman who reminded me so much of my Grandmother.  The way she tried to talk when she had no teeth in her mouth and the way her veins stood up like she trained every day of her life.  I was concerned about my approach but decided that it really didn't matter as long as I was sincere and everything I said came from the heart.  She knew it did.  I didn't force the envelope with the scratch ticket on her.  I simply held it in my hands and spoke.

"Hi, my name is Brenda. I have this card for you.  I want to give this to you as a small act of kindness because you remind me of my Grandmother.  I hope that doesn't offend you in any way."  As I held out the card, she didn't reach for it and I can't blame her.  So I continued... "I loved my Grandmother very much and as I start my journey with what I'm doing, I want to start with what my heart tells me and that is you.  It's not much but maybe will be enough to brighten your day just a little bit more."  As she finally reached for the card, she asked if I signed it. That question was worth it all because my Grandmother would have asked the same.  "No" I said. "It doesn't matter, but I wish you the best of luck".  And I walked away.  As I proceeded to my car, the tears were streaming in full force and all I could think about was how the hell am I going to get through 25+ more acts of kindness if I'm going to be this emotional??

Act of Kindness #2 - Give a Christmas gift to a stranger at work.
As I walked through the building with the Bath & Body Works body spray in a gift bag with a card explaining that they are my 2nd act of kindness, I decided that I wanted to just drop it on someone's desk who looked like they were in but wasn't currently sitting at their desk.  Someone at the far corner of the building where I know almost no one.  The choice was easy.  It wasn't emotional at all until... this email from this individual went out to everyone in the building...

"Today a very kind soul left me a Christmas Present with a very warm message in a Christmas Card. The sentiment pertained to the 26 children that were taken from the Sandy Brook Elementary School. I am the second Act of Kindness out of 26 that this person is giving to in Memory of the Children. There are kind and thoughtful people in this world and thanks to this kind hearted person, I am taking the time to Pay it Back as well.

Thank you!"

All I want is for people to pay it forward.  It may make this world a better place. 

So far, 2 for 2.

Peace.

26 Acts of Kindness Part 1

It's amazing how such an unspeakable act like the horrific tragedy that occurred at Sandy Brook Elementary School can somehow bind people into this powerful force that just might make a difference.  Even if it's just for a little while.  I'm sure most of you have seen the posts that have been going around about 26 Acts of Kindness.  I read about this and it took me about 20 seconds to decide to jump on that bandwagon.  I haven't decided how or what my 26 acts are going to entail but I do have the first few in mind.  My first will be today.  It's not an original idea by any means but when I saw what others were doing, I thought this act in particular was a simple way to get started by hopefully bringing a smile to someone's face.  I've decided to blog about my thoughts throughout my journey not only to possibly spread a little enthusiasm for others but also to keep myself accountable and to keep myself from stopping before I reach my 26th Act Of Kindness.

Act of Kindness#1 - A holiday card with a note and a $5 scratch ticket for a complete stranger.

The gesture is simple but carrying out such a simple idea is so complicated!!  Maybe I just overthink it but how/when/where/who is a lot to consider. 

HOW do you approach someone these days without them thinking you might be a lunatic with an exploding envelope?  I hate to admit it, but sometimes I do think the worst in people so what approach would it take for me to gladly accept an envelope from a complete stranger without turning right around to throw it away without opening it?  A smile for sure.  No problem.  The words I use will have to be upbeat, kind and sincere.

WHERE should one try to execute such an act?  A place where you think you might find someone who could use a little cheer?  But everyone needs a little extra cheer.  I don't want to be discriminatory in any way so maybe the only solution to WHERE is to carry around this envelope for the day and hand it out WHEN I feel the time is right.

WHO. The hardest part without being partial in some way.  Do you look for a certain type of person?  How on earth do you make that random?  Maybe all it takes is a game like... whoever is the next person to walk through the door gets the card.  That's random enough for me I guess but it's almost, how shall I say... risky.  It's a scratch ticket.  Should the thought be that it should go to someone who needs the money, or, I'm embarassed to write, someone who LOOKS LIKE they need the money if it's a winner?  Yes, most people deserve an act of kindness but in this case, with this act, I'd prefer to act on someone who looks like they need a little cheering up.

More to follow with the results from this act and details on my #2 Act Of Kindness.

Peace.

Holiday Spirit

I'm not sure what gets into people this time of year but it usually goes one of many ways. First, there are the people who are so joyous and happy that you want puke all over their red and green Christmas tree sweater that has light up balls dangling from the branches or some who could easily replace the Grinch in the NYC Broadway musical. I am somewhere in between. Monday night certainly tested my holiday spirit...

Monday nights are great at the YMCA that I go to...no swimming lessons for the bambinos, no boys basketball in the gym, no karate classes. Basically not many kids which means not many adults either. This is a great night to swim and this is where I always am on Mondays. I had a great swim. A tempo session given to me by my coach. Long enough to make me feel like I actually burned a few calories and short enough (because I'm a speed demon now...ok, that's a lie) so that I can get home at a reasonable hour for dinner. The locker room is basically small but has 3 rows of lockers with benches in between each row and then another long bench in front of another set of lockers. Now, I'm somewhat shy when it comes to dressing in front of others in the locker room. I try to keep covered with my towel and make it a point to certainly not walk around nude even if I am alone. Anyway, I have my shit spread all over the bench like a yard sale and this woman about my age comes into my row and proceeds to open lockers to find an empty one. As I'm standing there with my towel wrapped around me wondering what the hell she's doing and wondering how the hell I'm going to dry my legs without everything hanging out with her standing there, she finds an empty locker, looks at me, looks at my stuff on the bench and says, "Can I have some room here?" Back it up, sista...Hold me back! Lots of attitude but what am I gonna say?? NO?? With the attitude that she posed her question, I gave my "you've got to be kidding" glare but somehow, someway, in the spirit of the season, I gently responded "Sure". Great. Now how the hell am I going to finish dressing without embarrassing myself? Am I really that shy? Yes, but that's not even the funny part. As I'm trying to find clever ways to avoid exposure, I occasionally glance her way thinking that I must be getting punked or something since I was alone and I see her struggling to get her bathing suit on (any minute about to hang herself with the sleeve of her shirt) with her clothes still on and wrapped up in a towel in that way when young girls try to put on their bras underneath their shirts. You've got to be kidding me. Lady, you could have easily avoided this trauma you seem to be going through by picking one of the other 2 rows. I don't get people most of the time and how their thought processes work. I'd love to have felt comfortable enough to ask her what she was thinking. Maybe next time. Anyway, I got offtrack a bit but my point is that it's attitudes like this that turn people.  I easily could have fled to the dark side. Lucky for her I didn't. 
With the exception of the financial strain on my wallet, I love this time of year.  The music, the giving, the sharing, the love.  I wish everyone was as fortunate as I am...maybe that explains bad attitudes this time of year or perhaps all year round for some.  My goal is to try to remember that not everyone is happy, for whatever reason, during the holidays and maybe I should try to spread a little of my cheer.

Kegels or diapers?

I'll take Adult Diapers for $200, Alex...

What's worse than sneezing and then realizing you just pee'd your pants?  Sneezing and peeing your pants while in the grocery store and then having to walk around gathering your leeks and scallops knowing in your mind what you just did, quickly passing by the diaper aisle.  The first time you can sort of scoff it off by rationalizing in your head that you need to be more prepared the next time you sneeze...more time to clench up.  But what's the excuse when an hour later you're walking around the Christmas Tree Shop, you feel the sneeze building up, you're more than prepared and still your clenching still isn't enough to form that impenetrable barrier?  There is no excuse besides the fact that I'm getting older and the pubococcygeus muscles of my "pelvic floor" are slightly weaker than in my younger years.  Now I understand the reasoning behind adult diapers. 

But why spend money on diapers when there is a simple solution that doesn't cost a dime and offers many benefits?  Kegel exercises.  Because I'm a google gal, I had to research Kegels and what they offer.  I knew what Kegel exercises were but I never really knew (or wanted to admit) that I would ever actually need to practice them, even after having a child.  After all, I'm strong like Ox!  Ok, apparently not down there, but did you know that there are even pelvic toning devices that exist?  Ones that when you read the descriptions sound and look like toys from that XXX Shop down the street?  Does everyone know this or do I live in a cave?  I think I could get something like this down in PTown without giving away the real purpose of the buy...

Am I wrong?

Straight from Wikipedia:

Pelvic toning devices fall into a number of different types:

• barbells, vaginal weights or cones designed to be held in the vagina. The action of passively/actively retaining the device internally is supposed to improve muscle tone. Barbells are made of smooth, polished solid stainless steel, cylindrical in shape, with a rounded bulge at each end. They typically weigh one pound (454 g) and measure approximately 6+3⁄4 inches (17 cm) in length with a diameter of one inch (2.5 cm) at the widest part. Being made of stainless steel, vaginal barbells are nonporous and can be wiped clean with a cloth moistened with mild soap and water.
• electro-stimulation or TENS devices that administer an electrical current through an internal probe. The current stimulates the adjacent muscles to twitch. 
• rubber resistance balls and indicators. These devices provide a nominal resistance to squeeze against. An advantage of rubber bulb devices is that they provide visual feedback (via a gauge) of how much pressure is being applied.
• progressive resistance vaginal exercisers with springs are the only devices that meet all of Kegel's criteria. They provide a biofeedback that the correct muscles are being engaged and are capable of fulfilling the fundamentals of an exercise regimen by applying a variable and increasing resistive force to maximise the exercise effort.

Seriously?  This sounds like an excerpt from my vibrator manual.

Ok, enough TMI but there are benefits.  Outside of the obvious (keeping your panties clean), they do help both women AND men with sexual function.  For men, they can help restore erectile dysfunction and help with premature ejaculation.  For women, orgasms more easily, more frequently and more intensely.

F the diapers... SOLD!

The Sun will do

Despite how fast the winter is approaching, my mind isn't so much focused on shoveling, how high the thermostat is or when my next oil delivery will be but instead on where do I get packing boxes, how does one travel long distances in the car with cats and 'Geez, can't someone just pack for me?'. There's something to be said about starting to plan early and I guess that's what I'm doing. One (or many) less things to do later. That's my motto. Procastination was never an attribute that was high on my list of desirable qualities so it's just like me to start planning for a move 8 or 10 months in advance. Pictures are starting to come off the walls and every week, there's something new at curbside waiting to catch someone else's glimpse. There are a lot of things to do and think about but most important, there are a lot of emotions to feel. Life is so unpredictable. This unpredictability can be so exciting but at the same time can scare the shit out of you! Enough to purchase that full suit of armour on EBay? No, not quite, but that protective coating that kicks in when you get nervous about life is about up to my ankles thus far. I have to be honest and say that I really like change. Change keeps things exciting and fresh plus, it provides an opportunity to learn something new about yourself. Like....how much you've changed in the 10 years since you last lived with someone else. Yikes!! I'm 47 years old, isn't this about the time when couples start to look like each other? We've got a long way to go, Baby!

The warm Texas sun is where I'm headed. It will be an adventure which will require patience on my part. Since I'm the type of person who wants to get things done right away, waiting for a house to sell (which I've never done) doesn't sound like a top ten on anyone's list. In addition to trying to deal with the simple things like what to take when I'm moving into an already established home and what do I do with the stuff I'm not taking, there comes the realization that I can't make any plans for next year. I can't sign up for any of my standard races. I can't plan for a vacation. I'm playing a waiting game and I haven't even hit the starting line yet! God bless those who have to be around me for the next year because I need some control and this doesn't sound like a very controllable situation.


HELL -- (Heaps of Explanations for that Liquid Lunch)

• What do I bring?
• What do I do with the stuff I don't bring?
• Should I store some of those things for Tyler for when he gets his own place?
• How much does storage cost?
• How will we deal with holidays and vacations when it comes to Tyler?
• Should I drive the UHaul down myself?
• What if my house doesn't sell in a timely fashion?
• How long will I have to pack and get out?
• How much work on the house will need to be done before I put it on the market?  (Although I have replaced the outside light fixtures!)
• Will I get taxed on the profit?
• Who will do my taxes the following year after I move?
• How do you travel for days with cats in the car?
• What if I snap when the cats meow during the entire 4 day drive?
• What if the cats destroy their new home?
• Will Tyler hate me or feel abandoned?
• Will he come down to see me?
• Will I have a job?

...What if the relationship doesn't work out? ...


Ok, so I'm either having a hot flash right now, or I'm getting a little overwhelmed thinking about all of this. Luckily though, I have a wonderful person in my life who will be there for me every step of the way ready to give me anything I need whether it be muscle power or emotional comfort. That alone trumps most of the bullets on my HELL list.  ♥

Move on people! There's nothing to see here but the sun!

Creepers

Happy Halloween!! As most of you know, this is one of my favorite days of the year!  A day when I can dress up, entertain others and scare the crap out of the little kiddies.  Basically, be someone I'm not.  Or maybe from a psychological perspective, be someone I want to be but who would socially be unacceptable.  Whatever...I'm sure it could be analyzed in so many ways.

For me, Halloween planning begins November 1st of every year for the following year.  The perfect costume with the perfect amount of makeup to scare the pants off the kids.  People ask me how I can sleep at night scaring the kids like I do.  And to this I explain...there's a difference between popping out of the bushes yelling BOO for that unexpected scare and standing on my front steps dressed in ratty clothes holding a rubber cleaver making howling noises like I'm straight out of Texas Chainsaw Massacre.  The kids have options when they reach my home.  They see the crazed me, then they decide whether they want to risk their lives by asking for candy or continue on down the street to the next house.  It's all about giving them choices.  Sure some kids start out brave by making it half way down my driveway then suddenly run screaming back to Mommy, but it's their choice.  Pro-choice, that's me.  After many years of haunting, many kids know not to even start down my driveway but I still get over 100 kids every year knocking on my door.  So they're either growing up and becoming more brave or there are unknowing souls roaming the neighborhood who obviously need a lesson.  Hahahahaha!

Have a safe Halloween!

Kryptonite

As I sit here eating the Reese's and Whoppers from the Halloween candy bags I purchased today, which by the way, it's only October 20th, I'm reflecting on the swim lesson from earlier this morning with Coach Tara.  I only scheduled 3 sessions with her and today was my 2nd.  It went great but good lord, how much more could possibly be wrong with 1 person's swim stroke anyway??  You might as well strap a floatie on me and register me into the toddler swim lessons program on Tuesday nights!  Sheesh.  Don't get me wrong, it's all great information and I feel I'm benefiting but I'm more sore from 500 yards of drills than I am from swimming a mile in my old style!  How naive could I be thinking that my stroke wasn't that bad and maybe 3 sessions was too many to schedule?  I'm sure Tara really only has enough constructive criticism to last an hour...right?

Rotate completely onto your side when you breathe.
Don't bother swimming unless you're breathing bilaterally.
Keep your chest down. 
Keep your elbows up. 
Arms enter the water at 11 and 1. 
Fingers enter the water first, not your thumbs.
Slow down your kick. 
Keep your legs together. 
Superman! 

Agghhhhhh!!!!!  I'm assuming when practicing this pile of information for weeks and weeks, it will all become second nature at some point and hopefully will flow effortlessly but talk about information overload!  It's hard to concentrate on the angle of your arms as they enter the water when your legs and ass are sinking!  I might as well walk the floor bottom down the lane as I'll most likely get there faster! 

*sigh* 

Seriously though, despite the ton of information I've been given in 2 hours total, I do feel I've improved greatly.  Although I may not be getting there any faster right now, the exerted effort to get to that nowhere is much less.  That's all I want right now.  I've always had a love/hate relationship with the swim leg of triathlon but I'm thinking now that maybe these adjustments will at least tip the scale more towards the love side and will hopefully improve my swim enough to help conserve energy for the bike and run portions for those future Half Ironmans.  The improvements have prompted a little excitement in me. :)

Thanks Tara -Tri Kula Coaching !